4 letter words in Writing

In real life I try to watch the language I use in speech. I avoid cuss words. I avoid negativity. I avoid offending others. No matter what I do, I have found others will always interpret things differently than how I mean. So, people are offended, hurt and disgusted by my words.

In my writing, I find I do the same thing. My characters don't say shit, or damn, or the f-word. But, that isn't realistic. In revisions, I cringe when I nudge myself. Knowledge hits me that that kind of word belongs in that spot. I want to fight and argue with myself. Why do they have to say that? There are a million other ways a character can express themselves. Why do I have to give in?

It's not giving in. I'm not doing it. The character in my book is doing it. It makes them realistic. The readers expect it. I don't write Disney. I write adult fiction.

Sure, a reader, somewhere along the line may think what my Mom always said. "Why do they have to do all that cussing on TV?" I agree, I don't like it either. But when I walk down the street, or go into the store, or anywhere there are people, there is cussing. It's what people do.

Am I the only one that struggles with this?